i don’t think people realise how difficult it is to have a father you never see, and blames you for it, and a mother who has an illness that is will only deteriorate and still function as a normal human being and go to school and smile and pass my exams and survive without anyone to talk to .and half of my house is gone. i mean i know everyone has their own shit but at the moment my shit feels really shit and i don’t know how to deal with it and i just don’t want to be here anymore. i don’t want to be anywhere.